All Hands on Deck

By: Toni Roberts, Paralegal, AVLF Domestic Violence Project

Remember the good old days when you could pull into a full service gas station and get everything you need to solve your car problems? A friendly attendant would meet you at the pump to assess your needs, then fill your tank, wash your windows, and check your tire pressure. If after chatting with you further services were needed, you could even pull into its bays and get an oil change or tune-up, and an evaluation as to any additional ways in which they might service your car.

Though full service gas stations are scarce these days, the comprehensive approach to addressing the needs of customers that it represents is very much alive and well. At AVLF, we recognize that when clients call or visit our offices seeking assistance with one problem, it is an opportunity for us to make a more sweeping impact than he/she may expect. Vital to the success of such an organizational concept is the ability to develop and maintain team concepts.

We have worked especially hard to implement this model in our Domestic Violence Project’s work at the Safe Families Office. Located in the Fulton County Courthouse, the Safe Families Office is a dedicated space out of which we, together with our partners, Partnership Against Domestic Violence (PADV) and the Fulton County Family Division, provide legal and safety planning assistance to survivors of intimate partner violence and stalking.

When someone visits the Safe Families Office requesting assistance with the filing of Temporary Protective Order, often many other issues are at hand. With the needs of the community steadily increasing and resources equally decreasing, it is impossible for the attorney handling the case to singularly address all of what may be uncovered. This creates the preferred circumstance wherein many advocates can participate in the process of providing solutions. Each such advocate is a key player.

For instance, our front line workers are those that do intake. When a survivor comes in, one of us will meet them at the door. Keep in mind that this is usually a very intense and stressful time for them. The incident of abuse is fresh, as many times are their bruises. They’ve reached a breaking point, still find it difficult to make public a very ugly truth that has likely been a long kept secret. And this is the time when life-changing decisions about the future will be made. What they need is a calm, friendly supporter who will be patient and reassuring. Trained to listen for certain indicators, the intake worker can also provide resources specific to the survivor’s additional needs. Just knowing that there are actually viable options for their safety and that of their children provides the survivor with a level of comfort that makes taking this step easier.

Sometimes, depending on the severity of the circumstances, going through with the filing of a temporary protective order is not the most ideal solution. This is the perfect time to call on another line of defense, PADV. Specializing in safety planning, operating local shelters, providing counseling opportunities, and hosting support groups, among other things, PADV staff and volunteers are well primed to usher survivors through the emergency planning process wherein they establish a safe exit strategy and can begin planning for their future.

Beyond receiving assistance with the pleadings, paralegals can also be very useful in getting the case ready for hearing. Sometimes that means assisting the Petitioner in obtaining phone records, police reports, photographs of injuries, or assessments of property damage. Sometimes it means contacting other agencies that can provide assistance with related matters, i.e. the Magistrate Warrant Office, for help in swearing out warrants for the abuser’s arrest on a criminal charge; or the Family Law Information Center, for assistance with the legitimation process; or United For Safety, same sex victims of domestic violence. Sometimes it means diligently pursuing alternate options to ensure that service of process is achieved.

But it also means paying special attention to situations that call for action through one of our other programs. There are numerous times when survivors of domestic violence also need a divorce, or assistance with an advanced directive, or help getting out of a lease entered into with the abuser. AVLF has programs and trained staff members that work specifically in each of these areas, allowing for an easy referral to be made on behalf of the victim. The thought of having to seek out help with these issues separately, in addition to all of the others that are looming, is enough to discourage anyone already in the throes of domestic violence from even attempting to do so. Their anxiety levels diminish greatly as they are apprised of access to what is essentially one-stop shopping.

More than any of that, being in the position to have more frequent contact with the client than, perhaps, the attorney, the paralegal/staff member assisting in the preparation of the case has the unique opportunity to become a real confidante. Oftentimes during this process, survivors are divulging extremely sensitive information for the very first time. They are exposing family secrets, sharing stories of heinous crimes, admitting embarrassing details, and shining a light on a life that they wished they hadn’t lived. All of this while processing feelings of guilt and shame. Having a consistent go-to person who listens, who doesn’t judge, who can explain the process, who essentially restores hope is, in my mind, an absolute priceless gift.

I have had the good fortune to walk through this process with so many strong, brave, determined survivors that have been willing to forsake everything material in order to take control of their lives back from their abusers. One of my favorites is Ms. Hall. She is an 89 year old woman who was being abused by her sons, both substance abusers. She had been cursed at, pushed down on the ground, hit, and even beaten with her own walking cane by them. She was so fearful that she locked herself in her bedroom every night. Mentally and physically exhausted by the time she came in, she told me that they could kill her without even touching her because her heart was so weak.

I’m pretty sure I talked to Ms. Hall every day during this process. I’d have to arrange for taxicabs to get her back and forth from the courthouse. As an elderly woman not familiar with the process, I had to explain exactly how things would work…several times. I had to get her water when she became fatigued. Very traditional in her thinking, I had to reassure her often that, although it pained her to have to do this, that she has a right to act in her own best interest for a change. I took several calls from her in tears when her family members criticized her for doing it. And, do you know what she told me? “You’re the only one who understands.” By this time, I’d become very protective of her, as well as her biggest fan.

You should know that everything with Ms. Hall turned out wonderfully. Not only were we able to assist her with her TPO, but we found out that she didn’t have a will and our advanced directives team went to her house and helped her with that, as well. Her comment to our staff was, “Thank God I found you all. Now I sleep all night long and get much-needed rest.”

Ms. Hall is now my best bud. In spite of her journey, she finds joy in her present circumstances. I talk to her on the phone pretty regularly; she keeps me on my toes – like most grandmothers do -- as well as in stitches. Last week I was informed that I was to report to her house at 4pm on Christmas Eve for dinner with her family. I consider it a privilege to have walked with her through some really dark days into the light of peace. And I feel confident that each one of us who worked with her through this process holds equal value to her and helped to truly change her life.

There are thousands more Ms. Halls out there that still need your help and mine. And as was the case at your favorite filling station of old, each stage of advocacy and input exercised in meeting their needs requires time, skill and commitment equally significant to the process. Without the level of teamwork in place that we and our volunteers provide, those seeking our assistance would not be positioned to receive the extent of wrap-around services that, through our collaborations, we are privileged to provide at the Safe Families Office.