Pro Bono Service: An Honor, Not a Burden

By: Nilufar Abdi-Tabari,

Nilufar Abdi-Tabari is a family law attorney
practicing in Roswell, Georgia.  She volunteers every
Monday for the Domestic Violence Program
of the AVLF in the Safe Families Office, aiding victims of
intimate partner violence to obtain Ex-Parte and
Twelve Month Protective Orders

Attorney at Law

“Don’t worry! I’m happy. I’m happy because I am finally free.” In a surprising reversal of roles, I realized “T”, my client, was trying to comfort … She must have seen the tears I had tried to blink away.
For almost a year, I have been spending my Mondays at the Safe Families Office in the Fulton County Courthouse, where clients are provided assistance in obtaining Ex-Parte and Twelve-Month Protective Orders for intimate partner violence. It was on one of these Mondays that I had the privilege of meeting T, a beautiful young woman with a bright smile and a bubbly sense of humor.  The story behind that smile is one that will forever resonate with me.

In T’s case, the abuse began sixteen years earlier, when her mother gave the abuser access to T in exchange for drugs. Since then, T had endured years of extremely violent physical, emotional and psychological abuse at the hands of her abuser, a man 18 years her senior. Today, as a liberated woman, the countless scars and bruises on her body provide a road map to her previous years of physical abuse.

The scars on her ankle direct us to the episode of her jump from a second story window in a vain effort to escape her knife-yielding abuser, only to break her ankle when she landed, leaving her unable to escape. Her abuser then took her back into their home and kept her there for three weeks, waiting for the bruises on her body to heal before taking her to the hospital to be treated for her broken bones. The faded bruises on her neck lead to her eventual escape, a desperate run to a local post office after forty-eight hours of constant physical abuse. This journey of abuse and violence culminated in T’s arrival at the Safe Families Office, a refuge and place of aid for women in T’s situation.

As she finished her story, she looked at me and smiled. Against all odds, T was experiencing happiness because, for the first time in 16 years, she was free from abuse—regardless of the journey that lay ahead of her, she had successfully left her past behind. I could feel her joy and hope shining through the fading bruises. In that moment, I realized what a privilege it was to be able to stand beside her and provide some ease, comfort and assistance as she sought a protective order.

Through this encounter and many more like it, I have come to realize that providing pro bono services to the many victims that come through the Domestic Violence Program of the AVLF in the Safe Families Office is not only an invaluable service to these clients, but also a remarkable honor for me as a young attorney. At the Safe Families Office, I have found both a community of colleagues and friends among the many amazing attorneys with whom I have had the honor of working. And on occasion, I have been blessed by the comforting word and smile from those most in need of the same.

AVLF - Inspiring Art in Atlanta

AVLF -  Inspiring Art in Atlanta

On view at the Emory Center for Ethics until February 6^th is a collection of work which is meant to view, address, and examine the dynamics of relationships and homes fraught with intimate partner violence.

 This collection is the work of two and a half years and spans the time I spent working with AVLF at the Safe Families Office, assisting victims of abuse with filing for Temporary Protective Orders.  I was affected deeply by what I saw at the Safe Families Office and as an artist felt compelled to try and illustrate even a portion of what I was seeing in a way and space that others might witness it as well.  This has not always been an easy task and I have had many doubts and fears about the work I am making. 

Relationships are complicated, like the work to serve the people involved in them, because they are built on hope and love, which are strong bonds even in the face of violence.  Watching people leave and go back, watching people reconcile, and watching people get hurt is not easy as an advocate.  What I am clearest about, however, is how the discomfort I feel is nothing to the pain the survivors feel and that is a pain I will never fully understand.  As I have said many times, victims of domestic violence must watch the places they feel safe be turned into places of fear.   Homes are turned into war zones and into prisons.  The many objects they use in their daily lives become tools of oppression and weapons of violence.

Capturing the violence without sensationalizing what is happening is vital to me.  I want someone to view this and understand how bad it is, but also to understand that “bad” is contextual.  Sometimes bad is not visible to the outside and it is not a bruised eye.  Sometimes “bad” is a threat and that threat is a truly heavy burden.  I want someone to understand how universal this issue is and to see that this is also them, their neighbor, and this is happening in their backyard.  I want someone to understand various dynamics that affect a person’s choices, decisions, and change within this violence.  What outside forces are pushing this person to stay?  What is pushing them to leave?  What fears do they have? 

It is my firm belief that understanding is and can never be complete, but knowing even a portion of the struggle is valuable and integral to changing these actions and behaviors.

 

“The Artwork of Jessica Caldas” is on view at the Emory Center for Ethics until February 6^th, 2014.

There will be an artist talk on Wednesday, February 5^th at 6:30 pm.  The talk is free to the public and will be in the Center for Ethics room 102.

Location:

Emory University

Center for Ethics

1531 Dickey Drive, Atlanta, GA 30322

Hours: 8:30 AM- 5:00 PM, Monday through Friday

You can view more of my work at jessicacaldas.com